Are You Going to Get On with It?

Finding My “Safe Place” — And a Life Lesson from The Horsewoman

The gentle rhythm of hooves ambling through the barn; the whickers of “horse talk”: greeting, recognizing, staking claim; the fragrance of hay and fresh wood shavings in stalls – sensory images and impressions that take me to my “safe place.” I adore horses and always have. From my earliest days of childhood horsemanship, learning to walk a horse on a lead rope without fear of him stepping all over me, to today some sixty years later, the mystical relationship between human and horse has captivated me. To say horses touch my soul is not an understatement. It’s an abiding fact, so when I discovered the novel, The Horsewoman, by James Patterson and Mike Lupica, I immediately tuned into it. As I read it, I relived many deeply engrained memories of shared victories, losses and comforting moments with my beloved four-legged companions. Little did I know that by the time I finished the book, I would have learned one of the most significant and timely lessons of my life. (Thank you, Misters Patterson and Lupica.)

The Cast of Characters

The abbreviated story line leading to my epiphany includes this cast of characters: Daniel Ortega and Gus Bennett as horse trainers (Daniel “gentles” his protégés, Gus kicks their butts and cuts no slack to anyone), riders Maggie Atwood and Becky McCabe and grandmother/grande dame Caroline Atwood, owner and occupants of Atwood Farm in Florida’s horse country.

A Mother, A Daughter, A Rivalry

A mother and daughter duo, Maggie Atwood and college-aged Becky McCabe engage in typical parent-child sparring, and also in an atypical rivalry in the fiercely competitive world of equestrian show jumping. Starting at Atwood Farm and culminating on the incomparable Paris Olympic stage at Versailles, their story covers physical, emotional and psychological plot twists. Gifted riders with a passion for winning, both women must deal with unforeseen obstacles beyond the jumping courses and show rings. For Maggie, it’s facing the inevitable bumps and bruises of aging yet forging forward to realize her dreams. For Becky, it’s getting past a well-earned “rep” as a careless bad-ass who doesn’t yet appreciate her legacy or personal gifts. Not to spoil the story, but let’s just say both women face their proverbial demons, dig deeply within themselves, and make the firm decisions to reach for their goals, come what may.

When Fiction Becomes a Mirror

Call it living vicariously through the protagonists of the book, but I had to make a decision much like the riders did. When I activated my dreams of creating my own website, “Cinq Femmes,” I had no idea what I might face in taking that step. As much as I might tell myself that I was ready to put myself out there in establishing my own brand, in order to do that required me turning inward, excavating my own soul – my loves, my passions, my calling, and my painful past in the process. One of my goals with my Cinq Femmes blog is to be real, to be honest, to genuinely reach others, and to share women’s stories, mine included. All fine and good, but the first step in engaging in that process is to honestly examine yourself, and if something’s getting in the way to ask, “What’s holding me back?” “Why do I hesitate and go no further?” Period. No bullshit answers, no ifs ands or buts. I began to realize that I had always cherished my past pains as somehow being holy and therefore worthy of holding close, “But I was HURT BY THAT! How could I let that GO? It’s part of WHO I AM!!” Whoa… Stop right there. Really?

All In, Or All Out

The unvarnished truth was this: I could keep treading water (read: revisiting the pain and wondering why I’m not moving forward) OR (drum roll) I could say with newfound conviction, “I’m not living this way any longer! All in, or all out, no in between.” It takes a lot to get to that point, trust me, but there’s a freedom that comes with such clarity, and with finally taking a step that may seem small, yet can unleash true purpose and abundant peace.

“So What?!” — Getting On With It

As it is with many seemingly isolated experiences in life, the ways in which we cope, or don’t, with painful and unfair realities can have broad and life-altering implications. When the fictional Becky McCabe chose to dig in, put aside past failures in the show ring, missteps in judgment, wasted opportunities and push herself above it all, she began to evolve. It’s a fact that if you truly believe you can achieve something, you’ve already won most of the battle. But you have to be willing to let all the hurtful past go, and say with Becky’s tough-ass trainer Gus Bennett, “So what?!” when she complained about her emotionally and physically scarring journey. Gus didn’t mean it as cruelty, but as a challenge to overcome and tap into her own strength and talents.

My Answer

In that spirit I ask myself this: “Are you going to keep licking your wounds or are you going to get on with it?” regardless of what the “it” may be. And at long last my answer is, I’m with Gus and Becky.

Let’s get on with it!